Have a crush on a guy but not sure if the feeling is mutual? Or maybe you're curious as to whether that guy checking you out is doing so out of interest in you or he's just staring at the poster behind your head? Whatever the reason for your need to know, there are a few fairly certain ways of working out that a guy's definitely interested in you––or not!
Examine his body language. Body language can be the "big tell" when it comes to discerning if that guy fancies you enough to date you. Interestingly, body language experts believe that while females have around 52 body language tells to show a guy that they're interested, guys show around only 10.[1] If you subscribe to this theory, this should make your guessing a little easier! All the same, you still need to know what to look for, as well as being sure that you're not mistaking innocent gestures for calls of love––the latter mistake could prove embarrassing. Some of the signs of body language to watch for include:
He looks at you a lot. His eyebrow may even lift as he watches you ("the eyebrow flash" that lasts a fifth of a second). He might not even be really conscious he is watching you as much as he is.
Notice how much he looks at your face and makes eye contact.
He leans towards you a lot. Personal space invasion is a sign of major interest.
Check the direction of his hands, feet, legs, toes, etc. If they're pointed toward you, it's a subconscious indicator of his interest in you.
He starts grooming himself. He pulls at his tie to straighten it or he readjusts the fit of his sweater. Perhaps he runs his hands through his hair in attempt to tidy it or he reaches down to tie his shoelaces. Doing this repeatedly is similar to the actions of a male bird preening up his feathers for a display!
Check out how he's sitting. If you see rather manly gestures, such as sitting with open legs or placing his hands on his hips, he's trying to impress.
If he likes you, you may see that he rarely turns his back to you, often leans towards you, and also looks at you a lot. If he slouches his shoulders when near you, he's romantic and cares about what you have to say. If he points his shoulders and pelvis towards you while sitting, he is definitely feeling something for you.
Notice his eye contact. As already noted, a guy who is interested in you will look at you a lot, even if covertly. He may try to catch your eye or, if he's shy, he may suddenly turn his head away if you catch him checking you out. To test his interest, scan his face for four seconds, then look away (don't look any longer or it becomes awkward). Then look back––if he maintains or increases eye contact with you, he's interested. If his eyes wander to your mouth, he's definitely interested. If you feel like you have held eye contact just a fraction of a second longer than you would with anyone else, or if he looks away quickly, then there is something there. On the other hand, if he breaks eye contact with you and starts looking around the room, he's not interested in you.
A gaze that has him looking left, then sweeping over your face, then looking right is a sign he's very attracted to you.[2]
Be careful not to confuse a shy guy's darting retreat from eye contact with a guy who is clearly disinterested. A shy guy who is interested will continue to steal glances at you. Be patient!
If you don't like the guy, it can be uncomfortable to maintain eye contact; break it off quickly and scan the room yourself, as if looking for someone else.
When he's around you and he says or does something funny and everyone around laughs, his eyes will flicker towards you for a second to see if you laughed too––this means he's keen to make a good impression on you.
His pupils may dilate if he likes you, but this is quite hard to pick up on, and you might come across as acting strangely by looking that closely into his eyes. If you're around him for a long time, it could be easier to pick up on gradually.
Listen to what he's saying. If he likes you, and he's nervous or anticipating the chance to get closer to you, he'll probably start talking about himself. Many times, guys feel the need to prove themselves, especially if you talk about another guy in his company.
Gauge his interest in what you have to say. It really doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it that can tell you a lot about his level of interest. So, try this: Lean in and whisper, with your shoulder barely touching his and say something softly. To heighten the impact, steady yourself gently by brushing your arm across his back. If he moves his head closer toward you and either touches you back or maintains eye contact, he's interested in you. If he isn't interested, he'll probably step back or be very unresponsive. A really disinterested guy might even try to shoo you out of his personal space!
Notice his interest in touching and being touched. Touch is an important sign of interest in a developing relationship and you can assess interest both by observing how he touches you and how he reacts to you touching him. If he's keen on you, he might put his hand on yours when he laughs, he might gently brush his leg against yours but won't move it away again, or he may hug you for small things, such as greeting you, expressing emotions when telling a story or just because you "look like you need a hug." On the other hand, consider touching him to see what happens––a gentle brush of your hand against his neck, a hold of his forearm with your hand, or running your fingers across his hand after joking with him about something. He's interested in you if he responds to it and doesn't flinch away or if he moves his hand to stay on yours or on your arm or leg. On the hand, if he tenses up or moves away his hand, he's not interested.
If he is a shy guy, he may jump a little because he wasn't prepared for you to touch him. That doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't like you, watch his actions carefully afterwards.
Obviously, playboy guys (bad boys) might be very keen to spread their touching gestures around; be sure that he has more substance than this by observing how he interacts with other women in your group.
See if he uses any of the tricks in How to touch a girl, and see if he uses them more with you than with anyone else.
Watch his actions to see if he treats you differently from the rest of your group. If he's really interested in you, he may start to behave protectively toward you, or in a "gentlemanly" fashion (at least to the extent that he interprets his behavior as such). Look for signs like shifting his chair closer to yours, putting his arm around the back of your chair, leaving his jacket on the back of your chair or even going so far as to place the jacket around you to ward off your complaints of being cold.
Be aware that some guys flirt with other girls to get your attention. It gives him a chance to see your reaction, and helps him know if you really do like him or not. (Yes, it's an odd sort of logic, especially since you might end up so offended or confused that you just give up on him!) However, you can usually spot a "get-your-attention" flirt if, in the middle of his flirting scenario, he keeps taking the chance to look at you, seeking out your response. You can also try a quick trip to the bathroom and find yourself a sneaky observation point to check out how the flirting is proceeding. If he stops the moment you've left, it's you he's serious about, not her. Alternatively, ask a friend to do some observing for you while you're away.
Be receptive to his signals. If he shows genuine interest in you, (for example, he smiles at you a lot whenever the two of you pass each other or he goes out of his way to say hello to you), be friendly and polite back. If you've already decided that he's someone you'd like to date, don't let it go too long before facilitating an opportunity for the two of you to get together to talk in a quiet place. On the other hand, if he's not your type or you've changed your mind about flirting any further, be honest and let him know that you're flattered but you're not available.
